DAY 16 with Teresa Ann:
IN THE MIDST OF A CRUSHED SPIRIT
“Call her now?” She felt the gentle, yet that piercing prompting.
Upon the nudge she said to herself, “I’ll do it tomorrow, it’s too late.”
Reasonings and even the voice of etiquette attempted to sabotage her obedience. Yet within moments, it was as though she picked up the weapon of obedience and wielded it with valorous violence.
Meanwhile the war of reasoning and faith collided and out of the battle arose faith as she picked up the phone and selected the appropriate contact. The winced look of her face, you could see she was still hearing within her mind to hang up. As the phone rang, and upon her waiting, she thought, “What if I don’t know what to say?” When suddenly the voicemail interrupted her thoughts. As she put the phone down, there was a seeming sigh of hope when suddenly the sigh was interrupted with her phone ringing. As her phone rang, she looked down at her phone to see it was her friend. As she answered, she heard her friend’s voice; coated in grief, yet covered in grace. A conundrum that revealed “GOD is HERE” in the midst of despair and questioning, “Where is GOD?”
As they began to talk; Holy Spirit just let her hear HIM through her friend. What she had thought she was going to do, i bringing comfort; the LORD ended up setting up this moment to see HIM through her friend’s despair. In those moments that followed, they cried, laughed, reminisced of her beautiful husband who was drenched with GOD’s love; who had passed just days before. Married over 40 years; they had this connection as one that as she described was the most dark place she had ever been. Moments of despair in which there seemed to be no evidence that GOD was near. Yet in those moments she described how she received a text from a friend that said, “Breathe in YAH and breathe out WEH” and in that she found great Strength as she found herself breathing in and out the awareness of GOD HIMSELF.
LESSON LEARNED:
In this scenario, with one of my own experiences, is the moment in which Holy Spirit highlighted how I was afraid to mourn for “too long” over my own losses at times; and yet realizing with my beautiful friend, she was graced to reveal without knowing it that GOD IS NOT held back by time and space; HE’s not afraid of it at all. To see how my friend was experiencing the GRACE even while she could not feel HIM. The heart crushing loss revealed how GOD binds up the brokenhearted. That crushing is so real. It’s not to be reasoned away or to have some prayer or “cliche” be spoken in their now. It’s to just stand there, sit there, or even lie there with those grieving and allow the Spirit of GOD to hold them through you. To breathe with them without saying a word. To know that even your presence is ushering in HIS ever presence in time of need.
REFLECTION OF THE WORD WITH HOLY SPIRIT:
Psalm 34:18; Isaiah 61:1-3; Romans 12:15
LET’S TALK:
- Whether in your own moments of despair, or someone else’s, how have you seen GOD be your OR their ever present help in time of need?
- Was it raw and messy?
- Do you see how HE’s not afraid of the messes?
- Share your heart in whatever way you desire regarding this.
In the moment, I am crushed in despair, once again. And yet…I am able to breathe. I am in His presence and I am calm and collected. While I have no idea what happens next, I know, that He is a good, good Father. And all will go according to His plan that is good for me.
Beautiful Cara. For you to have taken the time to read and also comment, in the middle of despair. I am praying for you in this moment for GOD’s presence to be seen in the midst of darkness.In the moments where you can only take shallow breaths, just as you said, continue breathing in HIM. You are a beautiful gem! I love you so much!